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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in ~*The Bleach Beacon*~'s LiveJournal:

Saturday, April 21st, 2007
4:53 pm
[oneeyedlackey]
Problems with the dead
Seeing white writes

Dear Beacon,

I see dead people. How do I get them to GO AWAY?


Have you asked them to go away politely? As someone who is very experienced with dead people of various types, most are likely to listen to you if you don't treat them like some problem you'd rather not have. On the occasion, this may prompt some of the less... polite ones to torment you, but you can't win them all, right?

Besides, some of them are quite friendly. In fact, all of my best friends are dead people.

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, April 19th, 2007
8:21 pm
[shinypretty11]
They Make Earplugs, Why Not Noseplugs writes

Dear Beacon,

How do I tell a dear dear friend that their body odor is simply becoming out of hand? It's not like sweaty post-workout smell, that's understandable. This is more chronic, ground-in, pathological, habitual funk that causes all of our friends both physical and emotional discomfort. How do I say something without hurting his feelings?


And the God of Beauty repliesCollapse )
Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
7:24 pm
[the_sixth_sword]
Monday, April 16th, 2007
3:55 pm
[daddygami]
Illin' fer Lilluns
Grevious in Grammarton writes:

I heared yall wuz good fer anserin queschuns an sech, an Ah got this queschun that Ah been skeered ta ask mah frayunds about. See, the lil woman an Ah got usselfs a nice big famlee, jes like the Reverint sez the Lawd likes. But mah wife, shes sayin that we dont need no more liluns. But Ah dunno ifn she rilly dont want no more chillun or if she jest don wanna be doin the part as makes the liluns. How kin Ah tell er that the Lawd wants us t do it more?

Dear Mr. Ah:
As a doctor, I've learned my fair share of languages, and I assume yours must be some sort of new offshoot of English. Or perhaps a highly specialized strain of it you speak in your cult to "Lawd." Now, while children are wonderful and beautiful and lovely blessings in any Daddy's life, you and your wife should have them so that they may be wonderful and beautiful and lovely for you, not for some guy named "Lawd." What the Hell kind of name is Lawd, anyway? And why does he want so many kids around him? It's a strange man that wants to be surrounded by other people's kids. Unless of course, he wants to continue this cult, but what's the point in that, unless he's immortal? Is he immortal? Does he wear his skull on the outside of his head?

As for your wife, while you both may enjoy "the part as makes the liluns," she is the one who, ah, carries the liluns in her tummy and vomits in the mornings because the liluns make her sick and has to buy large clothes to accomodate the growing lilun and even though she's even more beautiful every day, she thinks she's fat and ugly and you hate her and she also hates you because you made her "fat and ugly", and then she BIRTHS the lilun from betwixt her loins, and then her lovely, lumptuous breasts have to feed the lilun, and just as she is able to relax and bask in the glow of the beautiful child your two loving souls have made, you're apparently asking her to repeat the cycle. No wonder you're sleeping on the couch!

But mano a mano, here's what I'm gonna tell you to do:
1. Go to the store (assuming the compound has one. Lawdmarket or Lawd-Rite or whatever you'd call it.)
2. Get everything you'd use to romance your wife and make her feel loved and special. Flowers, jewelry, cake, candy, clothes, whathaveyou (Daddy has found that tampons show special love, but at the wrong time of the month for these instructions).
3. Now this is the important part: THEN ALSO GET A BOX OF CONDOMS. These are special magic bags that keep your tiny little army men from invading your wife's precious oyster pearl, so that they don't make more liluns.
4. Present the above gifts to your wife. If she still loves you, but just doesn't want more kids, then this gift will be awesome and OH MAN SEND THE KIDS TO THE BABYSITTER'S! If she's just not interested in YOU, then she still won't care, and in that case, go get drunk. And if your crazy cult allows divorce, and she has to leave the compound, then I'd like to remind you that I am a handsome widower with three beautiful children in need of a woman around the house, to guide the daughters into the cusp of womanhood, and to teach my son about boobies.
Friday, April 13th, 2007
7:30 pm
[busty_neechan]
hold on and let go
Miss Abandoned writes,

Dear Bleach Beacon,

My best friend and I have been close our entire lives, but a while ago he started getting really distant and won't tell me why. If I try to talk to him, he acts like nothing's wrong, but he never tries to hang out with me or calls me first anymore. Some of my other friends say it's because I'm a girl and he finally noticed that, but our relationship has never been like that and he's dated other people anyway. What could be wrong? What can I do to get our friendship back on track?


then hold on and let go againCollapse )
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
4:00 pm
[busty_neechan]
problems with polygamy
Miss Oblivious writes:

Dear Beacon,
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and he's told me time and time again that he's really deeply in love with me, but I just found out yesterday that he's been cheating on me all along, with at least ten other girls!

I am so mad I could kill him! What should I do? Please help!


matsumoto's sound adviceCollapse )
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
1:49 am
[ketsumetsu]
I NEED SOME ADVICE, NEWSPAPER LADY
Ask for advice on this thread. It can be advice on any topic; serious or frivolous, personal or general.

Just make sure it ain't rhetorical.

You can comment from a Livejournal account, or you can make your question anonymous. Questions may not be answered in order, but they will all be answered, provided you are not a total jerkoff.
1:25 am
[ketsumetsu]
12:50 am
[ketsumetsu]
Application
This is the easiest application to ever exist ever. It is like the SAT. You get points for remembering to put your name on it and stuff. You simply fill in the blanks in the personal section and then answer the three questions as the character you are applying for.

Applications will be picked over for humor and writing ability, character portrayal, and anything else that seems like it would help/hinder a player when picking up and playing as a particular BLEACH character. Applications will be accepted when they have been okayed by a mod and at least two other players. This is not to be cliquish-- quite the opposite. It will ensure players can agree with one another, and that a single mod is not simply cherry-picking players as well.

Post applications directly to the thread. Applications will be screened to protect your answers to the questions. And more importantly, your personal info.

ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREECollapse )
12:23 am
[ketsumetsu]
Infrequently Asked Questions
GENERAL FAQ

Question One: Is This Real?

NO.

Question Two: Are you making a profit?

No. None of the muns or mods own BLEACH or profit from this noble and mighty endeavor, 'cept for the warm and fuzzy feeling it may give particular people in their hearts. And other places, too.

Question Three: Can I play in the sandbox, too?

Yes. Please apply for an open character if you would like to play a character. Alternately, make a comment, anonymous or from your Livejournal on the Ask For Advice thread to have it answered.

GAMEPLAY FAQ

Question One: How canon are we being, here?

We'd ask you to play your characters reasonably. What is reasonably will be determined by the moderators and other players who screen your application. Plz to be not be bitching at us because we will not let you play Grimmjow Jaggerjack as a fuzzy wuvvlebear.

Question Two: But What Are Your Thoughts On Yaoi?

While not precisely a "crack rpg," this game is highly removed from the actual series. Characters will interact differently and the game will have ongoing information between characters and threads. This means that you can choose to say whatever you want as the character, within reason: just warn a mod before you decide to take a SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERVE.

Question Three: OMG U SWEARD

This game will have many, many adult themes, seeing as it is a mockup of an adult-themed form of reading: the advice column. There may be explicit mention of sex acts, there may be risque topics, and there will MOST DEFINITELY be a lot of good old-fashioned cussing. So if it bothers you, don't bother complaining. GTFO.
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
11:51 pm
[ketsumetsu]
Available Character List
If the character is not claimed, and is not in this list, they are game. EVERYONE IS GAME. Dead people are game. Zanpakutou that do not actually exist as characters such as Benihime are game. The parakeet boy is game.

List Of Claimed/Held Characters

EVERYONE IS GAME UNLESS THEY'RE TAKEN.Collapse )

Remember to check the held/claimed characters list for additions that weren't updated for yet. Any character not claimed but merely held will have one week, unless interest is not showed. The hold will be extended until further interest is shown, in which case it will expire in an additional 24 hrs.

o yah btw, PLEASE COMMENT BELOW TO HOLD A CHARACTER. You may hold up to four characters at once, but may only apply for two initially. After any individual mun has proven that s/he Has What It Takes Dude, s/he may apply for more, one at a time, for a total of four. Note that ability, activity, etc will be involved in determining whether or not a player can take more than two characters.

Players may be allowed more than four, under special circumstances. They are a moderator, they make a shiny layout for the community, they are applying a very obscure character like the parakeet boy, they're the only person on the earth who wants to play D. Roy (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?) etc.
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
12:00 am
[ketsumetsu]
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